Apocalypse Hero: A Dark Fantasy Gamelit (The Adventures of Dan Book 1) Read online

  Chapter 8: The Rising of the Murder Hobo

  I sat down at my desk and tried to calm my nerves by doing a few breathing exercises so I could think in peace. I had the weirdest sense of déjà vu; even though I was sure I’d already cleaned, my desk was still full of trash, so I swept it off into the trash can so I could think without the self-criticism of knowing I could be a neurotic, hoarding trash panda. The situation as I knew it came down to one of two explanations.

  The first explanation for all the craziness was simple. I had gone crazy. The monster, Ur’Goth? Clearly, a hallucination and too many scary movies. The broken screens, massive spider webs, watermelon-sized fist holes in my walls, general destruction, and mayhem? I could have done that when I was blacked out and just not have remembered. Stranger things have happened when you mixed beers and liquors. As for the claw marks gouging most of my destroyed furniture, it could be just my imagination and nothing more.

  I realized, of course, the explanation I had given sounded crazy. Was it possible? Sure, it was possible. Possible that somehow this was all in my mind, the result of a head injury, or drugs, you know getting dosed by other people happens, or simplest of all, I could just have had some kind of alcohol-induced psychosis. Basically, a mental breakdown. I mean, I had been under a lot of pressure at work. No one knew what it was like to be hated quite like being the guy on the receiving end of a call about an extended warranty.

  None of those explanations sat well with me; I just couldn’t accept them as the truth. Sure, I was having trouble breathing even after doing the breathing exercises to get my panic under control, but that didn’t mean I was crazy, even though I couldn’t help but keep obsessing a little bit about hyperventilating.

  My gut, on the other hand, needed some convincing. It told me this was the real deal, and I believed it. It seemed plausible enough, but I didn’t really want to believe it. But I really had no choice. I was too coherent to believe I was having a mental breakdown.

  Everything simply felt too real, and this had gone on for too long to be a break from reality, even if I had been drugged. Which left the second option, and that was worse than the first. The second option scared me, but there was also something about it that greatly appealed to me, even if it meant the monsters were real. The thought sobered me up a little. It could be real, the whole world could have gone sideways, my world could have gone to hell in a handbasket, and that was fine by me.

  See, something that I was always told when I was in the military was that situational awareness would save my life in battle. That’s where my head was in that moment: I was focused on the situation, and I wasn’t trying to get distracted or too pigeonholed into any one thing so that I’d lose focus.

  Call me a nerd or whatever you want, but my training kicked in like muscle memory, and I grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down my thoughts. If the first was true and I was delusional, then I was screwed either way. It meant I’d be heading off shortly to a padded room and a four-point restraint, if they didn’t just chemically sedate me. But if the second were the actual truth, there would be certain assumptions I could make to guide some of my decisions.

  So I wrote down my thoughts as they came to me; rational, totally not crazy thoughts based on my experiences, knowledge, and best guesses.

  Dan’s Rules & Assumptions To Try To Survive The Apocalypse

  Assumption 1: Whatever is happening, is happening at least locally, so no local help should be expected, but there may be help outside the area, or where people might be gathered.

  Assumption 2: People who have never experienced life and death situations before are going to be panicked, scared, and likely to react like terrified people act, which means like animals. Assume everyone is dangerously stupid. Much like a drowning person is dangerous to those trying to pull them to safety. (I know this one firsthand from a summer I spent at a swimming hole as a kid.)

  Assumption 3: No place might be safe, the words “surviving members” and “Game” imply a contest wherein people will die, likely many people. Other people might be my enemies. Other people will be my enemies. People might not be my only enemies.

  Assumption 4: If the world has gone to shit, not everyone will believe it. Don’t bother trying to work with, help, or reason with anyone who doesn’t believe the end of the world is on them. Since these people are probably going to die anyway, think of them as targets of opportunity instead.

  Assumption 5: I need a weapon. I need protection. Without both, I will die.

  Assumption 6: I need more information, and it looks like all I need to do to get it is ask.

  So, just as I’d been trained and taught, I wrote those assumptions down, and obviously, the last thing I wrote was what I decided to check on first, as it seemed easy enough. I called out “What exactly are you? If I need information, what do I need to do?”

  Notification: Query - “What are you?”

  Details: I am LIRAI. Limited Information Retrieval Artificial Intelligence. It is my function to operate the query system. State your query and, if within the scope of access, an answer will be given.

  I didn’t even know how to pronounce that acronym; I still butcher it to this day. So I asked again and made a few demands while I was at it. “Lirai, that’s not just not going to work for me, it could get confusing if I was asking questions of someone else and you started answering. What if we worked out a prompt command like if I said ‘Lirai’ first? And can you make the prompts not cover my eyes, so I can still see?”

  I got nervous when the AI didn’t immediately respond. I definitely thought I had shit the bed and lost a lifeline to the only source of information I had, and I knew I was going to need it. The AI had said it had a sort of limited status; that hadn’t been lost on me. For all I knew, it might not even be able to give me a denial. It felt like forever, but it was really only five minutes before I got a response to my request.

  Notification: Request accepted. The query operator artificial intelligence known as Lirai has been assigned to serve the human known as Dan. Additionally, notification screens have been reduced in size by 75% to prevent loss of sight.

  As soon as I read that, the boxes became smaller. If you were wondering, it was not all at once, it was like somebody was working in some office editor and dragging the corner to make it smaller.

  Notification: Emblem Unlocked - No Such Thing as a Stupid Question.

  Details: For being one of the first 1000 humans to request a change of function to the query system, you have gained a personalized Lirai. The Lirai will be stored within your shadow.

  WARNING: Lirai is unable to be accessed during periods of high latency, such as active battle.

  I congratulated myself on a job well done and asked the first of two questions I needed the answers to.

  “Alright Lirai, what do I need to do first? And how do I win this game?”

  Notification: Query - Win Conditions.

  Details: To win the death game, you must be one of the remaining 100,000,000 humans on Earth at the end of a one-year period. Excess humans after one year will be randomly purged until only 100,000,000 remain.

  Honestly, that was kind of a holy shit moment for me, but not in a bad way. I had a number of grudges I could settle in a way that made every petty thing I’d ever done up to this point seem pretty tame.

  Notification: Query - First Things First.

  Details: The rules reveal themselves in notifications as required. The majority of the rules relate to non-participants and, therefore, are not your concern. The game is, by nature, a game only in the sense that the chase between hunter and prey is a game. It is a blood sport between multiple races from many planets marked for destruction. There are multiple ways to win, though the only method I can reveal is the annihilation of all other races.

  Hint: Select a weapon and armor from among the immediately accessible options and venture outwards.

  That was a bit of a problem for me; I didn’t have much available in terms of gear.
Unlike some other people, when I’d left the military, I didn’t bother to try to lift my gear off the Army and I didn’t spend the next decade buying shit to try to convince myself I was still in it.

  Still, I wasn’t completely unarmed. I grabbed the steel core bat I had in my room, slipped on my flannel shirt, and put on my steel-toed boots. It wasn’t much, but I planned on upgrading the first time I got the chance.

  Notification: Weapon Specialization Selection.

  You have chosen the weapon specialization “Blunt.” Current mastery level: “Dead Fish.”

  Blunt attacks have no inherent weakness, but also no inherent strengths. They are unable to cause critical damage to fortified targets such as buildings and barriers.

  I liked that. I liked it a lot. I’d never been somebody obsessed with swords or spears or even guns. My weapon of choice was a reflection of my brilliant personality. It was the next notification I got though that motivated me.

  That’s what Lirai meant by saying the rules would reveal themselves. I didn’t get an update about armor, letting me know that whatever this system was, it didn’t consider my flannel shirt as constituting armor. I knew I’d have to ditch it later, but for now I thought it looked cool.

  Notification: Pending Quest Area.

  Having been selected for participation in the Black Tournament, you have 2 days to prepare, at which point constituents will be automatically teleported to their starting cohorts.

  Notification: Upgrade Terminal.

  Before leaving, please check out the changes to your computer within location “My Room.” The computer has been changed into an upgrade terminal. You currently have 3 unused upgrade points that you may spend to purchase upgrades. By gaining levels, reaching milestones, and completing achievements, you will be granted additional upgrade points.

  I’d be the first to admit that I’ve no problem running headfirst without a lot of forethought, but this one time I took a moment to try to plan things out. It was worth taking a second to pause, take a deep breath, and figure this one out.

  Chapter 9: Upgrade Terminal

  My computer powered up on its own as the black screen flickered into life, and green lettering appeared on the screen that reminded me of the old DOS interface from back when school kids all across America were losing family and friends on the Oregon Trail. I can’t say I was super impressed by the interface. It was archaic.

  Crusader Systems - Terminal - Upgrades - Quests - Etc.

  Username _________ Password _________

  -Create Account- ( )

  “Hey Lirai, what’s the username name and password to get in?” I asked, wanting to put my newly acquired AI to use. This didn’t seem like something I wanted to fuck up without a little bit of insight from somebody who knows.

  Notification: Query - Upgrade Terminal Account.

  Details: You do not currently possess an account. To create an account, enter the desired unique username and password and then press your index finger to the screen where it reads Create Account.

  So basically it wasn’t that complicated at all, barely an inconvenience. I sat down, grabbed the mouse and already had my username picked out, dgk1986, and password trustno1 and pressed my finger to the screen. It wasn’t a touchscreen, but at this point I wasn’t going to start pointing out inconsistencies considering, well, you know, everything else that was going on.

  Crusader Systems - Upgrade Terminal

  Account Creation Confirmed

  Welcome, Dan Hanson.

  You currently have (3) unused upgrade points, and (0) unused stat points.

  Now populating your status sheet.

  Crusader Systems - Upgrade Terminal - Status Sheet

  Name

  Dan Hanson

  Special Ability

  Bound Spawn Point

  **Not Yet Disclosed**

  Emblems Earned

  No Such Thing as a Stupid Question

  For being one of the first humans to request a change of function to the query system, you have gained a personalized Lirai.

  Weapon Specialization - Blunt

  Mastery Level - Dead Fish

  Upgraded Items - None

  ??????

  ??????

  ??????

  Level 1 - Current experience: 1/100.

  Strength - 1 1

  Agility - 1 1

  Magic - 1

  After I looked over my status sheet, I still didn’t have much in the way of knowing my capabilities. It really didn’t tell me much of anything except I had a lot of work ahead of me. Another window popped up asking if I wanted to proceed. I of course clicked yes and it brought up what I had actually wanted to check.

  Upgrades.

  Crusader Systems - Upgrade Terminal - Upgrade Selection

  Unused Points (3)

  To purchase an upgrade simply click the name of the upgrade once for each investment. For additional details on abilities, please consult the Crusaders manual at the enclave headquarters.

  Available Upgrades

  Price

  Investment

  Iron Skin

  2

  0/5

  Staggering Blow

  1

  0/10

  Quick Step

  3

  0/3

  Blighted Touch

  5

  0/2

  Accumulate

  1

  0/10

  Fire Resistance

  2

  0/5

  Ice Resistance

  2

  0/5

  Lightning Resistance

  2

  0/5

  Dodge

  3

  0/3

  **Further Upgrades**

  10

  0/10

  “Lirai, which one of these would you pick if you were in my shoes? Explain the differences to me.” It was kind of a big deal which upgrade to pick; I know we’ve all been the victim before of choosing something just because it sounded cool. Not calling out any names, but I remember a certain plant monster that was just completely outclassed compared to its water and fire-based counterparts.

  The AI never responded, and in the end, I decided rather than punk out and save my points for later, I put two points into Accumulate and one into Staggering Blow.

  Notification: Upgrades Unlocked: Accumulate, Staggering Blow.

  Details: You have unlocked Accumulate 2/10. You may store power during battle to add up to 10% extra force per point invested on (X) amount of attacks, where (X) equals the number of points invested into Accumulate.

  Details: You have unlocked Staggering Blow 1/10. For each point invested into Staggering Blow, you have a 2.5% chance of stunning an enemy with every hit. This bonus is doubled while unarmed.

  I could use the first one. I could bide my time and wait to pull out a sneak critical or just lay somebody out. What I wasn’t planning on doing, however, was attacking anyone while unarmed, or investing enough into it to make the investment worthwhile. I exited out of the screen and stood up, stretching out.

  Contextually speaking, part of me knew I was a lot better off than most people in this crazy situation would be. I mean sure, yeah, I’d let myself go to seed. For the ignorant among you, that’s just a fancy way of saying I let myself get fat. Not like super fat, but you could tell without having to guess that my favorite meal had been a steady diet of Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets. You know, for like years. I was in bad shape, I’ll admit it.

  It wasn’t all bad though, I promise. Even if my body no longer reflected the soldier I used to be, I still had my military training to lean on; it was just like riding a bike, some things you never forget. I knew I could get strong, and maybe stronger than I’d ever been. It just might take a while. After all, my metabolism wasn’t what it used to be. Shit happens, especially after the age of 25. Everything changes after 25. Basically you have nothing left to look forward to but to wait for the sweet, sweet release of death.

  Chapter 10: When
the Excrement Hits the Cooling Apparatus

  Anyway, I digress.

  Fully geared up, I walked straight out of my room for the second time that day, though this time, knowing some terrible monster wasn’t waiting for me in my living room let me hold my head a little higher. Inwardly, I was holding my proverbial balls of steel, as I tried to hype myself up to do what needed to get done. I actually got a little ahead of myself and almost forgot to grab my steel core baseball bat on the way out.